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  • Writer's pictureOrina Ontiri

Dating Disaster Alert: 7 Signs to Run the Other Way

Dating is often intimidating and challenging for smart, successful people. It often comes with rejection, meeting the wrong people over and over again, not having fun, or even giving up on ever finding the love of your life.

You can dare to be different by being aware of these common dating pitfalls so that you can either avoid them altogether, or if you identify that you are stuck in a pitfall, you can save yourself by ending the relationship right away before you invest all your energy, time, and finances into it. A pitfall by definition is a danger or a trap for the unwary.

First, Don’t Give Up! Second, Learn these Dating Pitfalls so you know if it’s happening and what to do about it, or avoid them all together. Third, understand that dating is a process and not a destination that launches you directly into the arms of the person of your dreams.

  1. The Mask Pitfall occurs when you pretend to be someone you’re not to impress your date. You feel like you need to mask the real you and present a more appealing package in order to “sell” yourself. You risk disappointment and a break up because you’re not being true to yourself and cannot sustain the “fake image” for the long term.

  2. The Vibrating Bed Pitfall happens when you think that if the sex is good, a great relationship will follow. The pleasure and passion of such encounters causes you to become attached to your partner; therefore you think you are in an actual committed relationship rather than a “friends with benefits” or “hooking up” situation.

  3. The Shiny Object Pitfall happens when you get into a committed relationship mainly based on feelings of chemistry or attraction. You think the person is a great choice and you are destined to be together. A break up results when you realize that the special sizzle is gone and you try desperately to get it back, but realize you cannot.

  4. The Better Than Nothing Pitfall occurs when you believe that having ANY-One is better than having no one because being alone is a terrible alternative, you take what you can get and settle for less. This results in attempts to change your partner and mold him into what you want, causing friction and relationship failure over time.

  5. The Made Up Marriage Pitfall is when you jump into being an “instant couple” because you believe that if you make a commitment to someone you’re dating, a loving and happy relationship will follow. You push to move in together and try to make the relationship work. You think that it will all be worth it and there will be a happy ending if you can just get over the hurdles that all couples face.

  6. The Prince Charming Pitfall happens when you expect the love of your life to magically appear and you’ll both live happily ever after without any active effort on your part. You believe that finding your soul mate will just “happen” only to find yourself feeling even more lonely and unloved.

  7. The Meant for Each Other Pitfall happens when you have fun together, have a few things in common, and enjoy each other’s company. You assume you are compatible and therefore, dive into a committed relationship too fast. You ignore the areas of incompatibility because your focus is completely on the ways you are meant for each other which blinds you from seeing them. You find out too late that there is a difference between someone who is fun to be around and someone that you want to spend your life with and when the fun stops, the result is a breakup.   

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